9 – The Trip.

Its moving day.

Brian and his son have come from Bellingham to help us with the move. U-haul trailer. Car loaded up. Ready to go.

Hugs and goodbyes are said.

Off on the journey we go.

It is a 385 mile journey, 6-8 hours.

The things is I can’t drive.

I don’t have my license. I don’t even have a permit. So I can’t even partner up with the driving.

There is nothing I dislike more than being a passenger. I like to be in control. This is not what was happening.

My wife is a fantastic driver. She is an incredible mum.

I am not a good mum. Far from it actually.

I will look at it now and admit.. I wasn’t a good parent at that time. I lost my patience, I got frustrated. To be honest there is no real way that you can solve kids screaming and shouting whilst driving over a mountain pass apart from a movie or melatonin.

We saw a lot.

Coulee Dam.

Diablo Lake.

All incredible sights.

The truth was that we were on a journey to find our new home.

To find our new place in life.

To fulfill what we felt God was calling us to.

To be able to rest in a place where we call home.

8 – Pretty on the Outside

After a while of just being dad again I was offered the opportunity to join my Father in Laws painting team.

They painted high end homes.

It was crazy.

Looking over the valley. Million dollar views.

Learning a skill I never had before.

It was a great bonding experience. I enjoyed that work, it was hands on.

You could see the process of the work. Taping off, prepping the area, cleaning it, filling in all the holes.

Waiting for the follow up coat.

Covered up. All pretty on the outside.

No one will see the holes, scars on the inside.

Nice metaphor for life.

The move to the US was good. There were scars, hurting that would heal in time but with this time back together it was a good paint job over all of it.

The honeymoon period all over again.

Spokane wasn’t the end goal. We would be moving on soon.

Hoping it won’t hurt too much or hurt people too much.

Bellingham was the next step for our family.

Bellingham would be our new home.

7 – Time to Get Settled

Time with my boys. Time with my wife.

Time to explore the area.

America is pretty easy.

We are staying with Rachel’s mum and husband.

They are generous, loving and welcoming.

They have a fantastic house, lots of land, horses. The boys are in heaven.

At night time we hear Coyotes.

Not the kind of noises that I am use to.

Thins are different here.

A few miles up the road is a lake. Picturesque.

In the sun it looks incredible, fun. Boats and kite-boarders. People fishing. The works.

I still don’t have a physical green card… it is something that I am craving. It is something I need to legally be allowed to work, to earn money to provide for my family. It is tough not doing this.

It is almost a 2 month forced vacation.

Highlight of the week so far… my birthday (3 days after arriving)… Kyrie threw up on me in the middle of a Philly steak house restaurant.. haha it was disgusting. Rachel ran into a sports store to get me a different shirt… we ended the day with fried chicken and the NBA Finals. Not to shabby.

6 – Time to Re-engage

So one thing that happens when you spend significant time apart from children… particularly in this situation – two young boys. Consistency out the window.

The next couple of weeks of life is all about adjusting back to family life.

Being dad. Being husband.

Spokane is nice.

Playing with the boys all day, being with my wife as a team. It is a breath of fresh air. It is so welcomed but man it is a shock to the system.

I am slowly finding that it takes two or three times for the boys to listen to me instead of the one it took before.

But what am I to expect the boys are use to just having mum, Gramma and G-pa. I have been skype dad. Text dad. Dad whose discipline doesn’t hold weight, or comforting words have no real meaning. Talking over the phone didn’t hold my kids whilst they cried at night. Talking over the phone didn’t immediately add me to any family days out.

I was not in the family selfies. I wasn’t in the picture.

Nothing hurt more than the first time I realized that my voice didn’t hold as much weight as before… that I would have to reconstruct my position in my family again.

Joy.

Joy is when your sons run into your room in the morning and wake you up by jumping on the bed.

Joy.

Joy is when your sons give you hugs and don’t pull away even when the hugs are getting to long.

Joy.

Joy is being in the selfie with your sons. Being part of the memories. Being with my family.

5 – Spokane

My heart is pounding.

We are coming into land in Spokane.

We have done the 16 hour flight from London to Seattle. I had a little layover in Seattle but this is it.

I will get to see my wife again.

I have no words to describe the feelings I had leading to seeing Rachel.

Skype, Facetime, Texting. All of the technology in the world has nothing on that moment.

I smiled. Rachel smiled.

We cried.

We hugged for what felt like hours..

I’m tired. Jet lagged.

We jump in the car, travel to our next stop.

My boys.

They are asleep when we arrive. But man I just want to wake them up and kiss them, hug them, tell them how much I love them.

Life may not be settled. We may not be in our home but just being close to my family, to sleep in the same bed as my wife.. Nothing beats that feeling.

2 months apart. No more.

No more.

4 – Up and Out of here.

The time has come.

The Visa has come through and is in my hand.

Time for the flight.

Time to see my family.

The last two months have been terrible. The comfort offered by friends and family helped mask the emotion even for a little while.. but I was still standing – a shell of who I am.

I order the ticket. Say goodbye to my family, friends, church, job. Life.

Leaving one continent to start life on a different one. One that is similar but is different enough to remind you that your not from here.

I get to the airport. Bag of clothes. Bass guitar. Carry on. Thats it.

My life of 27 years all stuffed into 3 units.

I take a deep breath and walk up to the check in counter. All good.

I walk through security, show my boarding pass and passport. All good.

I sit down on the other side after being allowed through, put my shoes on and decide what to eat.

McDonalds. Standard.

I am half way through my quarter pounder meal when I hear something I have never heard before.

“Can a Mr Jamie McSeveney return to the checking counter – there is a problem with your luggage”

My heart stops. I start to panic.

There is no sharp objects, there is no spray on deodorant. My mind frantically working to try to figure out what it could be.

My bass guitar case was locked. They needed to search it.

For all the panic I was left with a little note to say that they had searched the case.

I join the line to go through security and the process again.

Finally take a seat in the waiting area, put my headphones in.. open a book and wait.

I don’t sleep on planes.

I can’t. Never have been able to. Probably never will.

I watch as many films as possible. If I can watch them on a plane I don’t have to buy a cinema ticket for the movie.. Terrible mindset but still thats what I do.

London to Seattle. Seattle to Spokane.

22 Hours of travel from doorstep to doorstep.